DOMINATORS LOOK TO EXTEND WINNING STREAK IN ANNUAL GAME

Abilene, Texas - On Saturday, December 20 the Dominators and Patriots of the FFL (Family Football League) will meet in Plano for the third time in the league's young history.

The Dominators hold a decisive 2-0 all-time series lead, and at the league's summer meetings in Abilene, Dominators' owner, general manager and MVP Mark Rogers was not shy about his feeling that the trend would not change.

"We have the same core players. We're faster, stronger and more athletic. Why would I think the Patriots would even have a chance against us? Because Brad wears a bandana? Please."

The 2007 game was reviewed this summer at the meetings and it was determined that after breaking both knee caps, Patriots QB and Turnover Machine Urban Rogers will be required to wear knee pads and a helmet in 2008 per a league insurance policy. Brad Rogers, the Patriot offensive lineman turned hero in 2007, was fined $10,000 for displaying a poor attitude at the completion of last year's game when he muttered "Geeez" under his breath and walked away from the field. To date, he has still not paid.

In 2006 the teams met in the inagural FFL game. They marked the playing field with shoes and articles of clothing and played down-by-two-touch rules. The appropriately named Dominators won in a route as Mark Rogers, Jenn Rogers, Jennifer Rogers and Allison Rogers executed their game plan to perfection in all three phases - defense, offense and special teams.

Last year, after the league was able to raise funds through its charitable non-profit organization "Heal Urban's Knees, Please", the two teams were able to use cones to mark the field and had flag belts to determine when a player was no longer eligible to advance the football.

In that game Mark Rogers had an unprecedented two interception returns for touchdowns, a kick off return for a touchdown, ran for another score and threw a touchdown pass in a 5-4 win. It was the greatest performance in league history, and league officials erected a monument next to the field in his honor. Last month a gang of hoodlums vandalized the monument, and it was taken down. Initial reports named Jeff Rogers as the prime suspect. No charges were filed, and Jeff has declined comment.

Others believe that Mark Rogers, himself, vandalized the monument. He was not in favor of the recognition and was quoted several times throughout the offseason heaping praise on his teammates rather than taking all the glory himself. What a team player.

Over the last year, the athletes have been keeping in shape and preparing for the game in their own mental and physical ways.

Urban Rogers is on a strict diet of Pepsi and Kolache Station dinner rolls in milk. He exercises by pushing himself back and forth with his heel while sitting in his rocking chair. Jeff Rogers continues to rock climb and pole dance at bed-and-breakfasts around the Long Island area. He and his wife, Allison, are in prime condition after living in New York City for the last 12 months. They are constantly running from criminals, muggers and celebrities. Jenn Rogers is pregnant and may be a liability for the Dominators this year...oh wait...she almost cost them the game last year, too...and rolled her eyes just now when she read this. Mark Rogers continues to keep himself in shape in unorthodox ways by hanging upside down from the side of his couch and seeing how much water he can drink before it comes out his nose or he loses control laughing. Rogers believes this helps with hand-eye coordination. Jennifer Rogers' work out regimen consists of chasing after little kids and lighting things on fire. She has also been working on her rotator cuff strength by throwing Chinese darts into the back of her husband's 67-inch LCD TV. Her aforementioned husband, Brad, is in prime physical condition. He has lost more than 75 pounds and completes Ab Ripper 90 X every other day with his sole motivation the upcoming FFL game.

"My favorite part of the day is when I'm finally done with Ab Ripper 90 X and the guy is like 'you've just completed Ab Ripper 90 X.' Then I know I'm almost prepared for the game," Brad said after just completing Ab Ripper 90 X.

In an interesting twist this offseason, Mark Rogers has invited members of Allison Rogers' family, the Seiberts, to join in the game this year. Rogers has cleared the additions with the league and if they accept, Michael Seibert would join the Dominators, Meredith and Keith Seibert would join Urban, Brad and Jeff on the Patriots.

Other Seiberts (namely Lara and Katherine) who will be available and wish to be included in the game need only contact Dominators GM, Mark Rogers to gain access.

The Seibert family relocated from Eastern Russia ten years ago and are considered by many to be the most talented family from Eastern Russia in history.

The King of the family, Keith, can play the guitar and is well-known for his four-year term spent as a CatchPhrase judge. Janet, yon Queen, is a marvelous cook and can read people's minds. The eldest daughter, Allison, vaulted into celebrity status with her circus catch during last year's FFL game. Michael, the only son, has 32-inch biceps, once killed a bear with chop sticks, beat Mike Tyson up in an alley fight and likes to lick the chocolate from the bottom of the brownie mixing bowl. His wife, Meredith, instigated the Mike Tyson fight when she threw a cupcake at him for, according to police reports, "looking at me wrong." She is also a world-class pole vaulter. Lara Seibert just won a Tony for her performance in the Broadway Musical "Wumsee-doodle, the Story of Mike Tyson getting Beat up In an Alley by a crazed Maniac." And last but not least, Katherine Seibert - the youngest of the bunch. She defeated Dwyane Wade in a one-on-one game on a neutral court and was mentioned by Kobe Bryant during his MVP acceptance speech. None of the Seiberts speak english.

"We're not sure if the Seiberts or which ones will be able to participate, but we'd sure love to get them involved. Michael Seibert is a force to be reckoned with and can bench press more than 600 pounds," Rogers said at a press conference earlier this week. "I mean, c'mon, the guy beat up Mike Tyson in an alley fight. They even made a musical about it."

Rogers also said the teams would be fair if these additions were made with Mark, Michael, Allison, Jenn and Jennifer (2 male, 3 female) pitted against Urban, Keith, Brad, Jeff and Meredith (4 male, 1 female).

If Lara and Katherine are able to attend, Lara would play for the Dominators and Katherine for the Patriots. Any other combination of players will be determined by league officials prior to the game.

The game will kick-off at 11 AM at Westwood Park in Plano on Saturday, December 20. Pre-game coverage will begin at 10 AM.

Please send any questions and/or comments to the FFL Commisioner, Chingus Domingus at PO Box 8729, Notting Hills, XZ 32092.