DOMINATORS EXTEND WINNING STREAK TO THREE

Patriots lose again despite major off-season changes

Plano, Texas – In the end, it all came down to the quarterback-dads.

In a game much closer than expected, the Dominators of the FFL (Family Football League) extended their all-time record against the Patriots to 3-0 with an 11-10 overtime win Saturday at Hackberry Park in Plano.

Overtime rules in an FFL game call for the opposing quarterback-dads to throw an uncontested pass from the seated position. The farthest throw wins, and Keith Seibert, the Dominators newly-acquired flame thrower, proved to have a stronger arm than Patriots long-time quarterback-dad Urban Rogers.

“Urban’s throw went the length of the field so I was pretty doubtful I’d have enough in me,” Keith screamed from the shoulders of his teammates after the game. “But I just dug deep and was able to throw the pass of my life. This is the greatest day ever.”

Michael Seibert, a new addition to the Patriots in the off-season, took home the coveted MVP trophy despite the loss with an unprecedented seven touchdowns in the game.

“I was happy to come out of retirement to try and help the Patriots out,” Seibert said as he slowly strolled off the field with his head down. “I had a good game, but it really doesn’t mean much right now. They signed me to help win, and we didn’t get it done. I think I have a rash.”

Seibert was an offensive force in the late 90s for the Chim Chim Charoos, but was indicted and charged with having an inappropriate relationship with a basketball. He served time but was later cleared of any wrongdoing. The incident effectively ended his career, until his coming out party today.

His late-signing wasn’t the only change in the game this year. In the off season, Dominators’ wide receiver, Allison Seibert, made it clear to team management that she was not happy with her contract.

After several weeks of negotiating with her agent, something team owner, general manager and MVP, Mark Rogers, does not do often, both parties felt it was best for Allison to move on. She was reluctantly traded to the Patriots for semi-retired and oft-injured Jeff Rogers.

Jeff couldn’t have been happier with the move since he was about to be released anyway.

“I just love playing the game of football,” Jeff said from his mother’s basement while playing Fable after today’s game. “I thought this was the end of the line for me with my back being as bad as it is, but Mark Rogers just showed what kind of owner and person he is by trading for me. I’m so thankful. Mark is really a shrewd business man. I think I'd like to date him.”

The Dominators also signed Allison Rogers’ dad, Keith Seibert, in a move that seemed motivated by Allison’s desire to leave the team. Rumors spread that the Dominators acquired Keith to create controversy and a distraction for Allison. It was an awkward press conference for all involved. Especially when Allison yelled, "I hate you, Dad. I hate you," and walked out.

The Dominators claimed Keith was necessary since then the team needed an extra player with Jenn Rogers on IR with a baby in her belly. Team doctors did not clear her to play. She could have cared less.

The FFL playing field, Westwood Park, had to undergo an emergency sprinkler installation so the league scrambled to find a suitable alternate venue.

Officials found and secured Hackberry Park with a payment of $100,000 to the local Boy Scout chapter. Officials argued that they were grossly overcharged. The Boy
Scouts just giggled and disappeared in between some houses with the money.

With the new teams assembled and a playing field determined, the stage was set for the third annual grudge match.

The cones were set, flags were handed out and the rules determined. The teams would play a total of 20 points. Whoever had the most points after four 5-point quarters would be declared the 2008 winner. In the event of a 10-10 tie, officials would come up with a tie-breaker.

The team captains met at midfield, Allison Rogers of the Patriots and Jennifer Rogers of the Dominators.

“It was weird meeting Allison at midfield before the game,” said Jennifer. “She’s been such a big part of what we’ve accomplished over the last few years. I spit at her but the wind took it just wide and I missed. I immediately apologized and we hugged.”

Jennifer won the best-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match and the Dominators took the ball first.

Heading into a stiff wind, newly acquired Keith Seibert and team MVP Mark Rogers decided to pull one out of the bag and go deep on the first play. It worked.

Mark ran a streak past Brad Rogers, who hyper-extended his knee and clumsily fell down, and Keith hit him in stride to make it 1-0 with just three seconds off the clock. It seemed the Dominators were on their way to another decisive victory.

It was the first 100 yard play in FFL history, but it would not be the last of the day.

The Patriots took control at their own goal line. After a short pass to Brad, who was able to walk off the knee injury, Urban Rogers hit Michael in the end zone to pull even, 1-1.

But Michael wasn’t done there. He intercepted Keith on the next Dominators’ possession and returned it for the score giving the Patriots their first lead of the day, 2-1.

On the next Dominator drive, Keith hit Jeff on a short pass. He then lateraled to Mark who outran the defense for the TD, and the score was tied at 2.

The first quarter ended with the second 100 yard pass play in FFL history. Urban hit a streaking Brad and the Patriots led 3-2. Mark had flawless coverage on the play.
It was just a perfectly thrown pass.

Michael continued his record-setting day with another pick-6 (or in this case, pick-1) to give the Patriots a 4-2 lead. Keith sat alone on the bench with his head in his hands.

But he couldn’t sit there long and the Dominators responded when Jennifer caught her first of two TD passes of the game keeping the score close.

Urban hit Michael with a jump pass capping a three-play, 100 yard drive that kept the Pats up two points.

At this point the game seemed to be over. A two point lead in such an offensive shootout would seem to have been enough, and the Dominators had yet to get a defensive stop.

With the game slipping away, Keith and Mark decided to go deep again. And for the third time in the half, the FFL record for longest play was tied as Mark streaked 100yards to catch the perfectly thrown touchdown pass.

The momentum stayed with the Dominators when their first defensive stop finally emerged. Mark intercepted a worn out Urban and ran in for the score.

“I tried to stop my arm from making the throw,” said Urban. “But my elbows are just too weak, and I thought I saw a man dressed up like a Diet Pepsi. I was distracted.”

At the end of the first half the score was tied at five points each.

The third quarter was more of the back-and-forth action. Michael caught another touchdown pass, and newly-acquired receiver, Jeff, caught a touchdown pass and intercepted Urban for a score giving his team their first lead since it was 1-0 in the first.

The Dominators were rolling and on a 4-1 run.

Michael then made the catch of the day, a one-handed beauty for a score. Jennifer countered with her second touchdown catch, and after three quarters of play the Dominators held an 8-7 lead.

The fourth quarter was full of controversial and odd plays.

On the Patriots first drive of the final quarter, Brad executed the “whirling dervish” route to perfection. He twirled in circles with his arms straight out all the way down the field singing "The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music", knocking down his own teammate in the process, and was able to clear enough space to catch a pass in the front corner of the end zone.

The Dominators countered with the longest drive of the game, a 6-play march that ended with Keith hitting Mark to make it 9-8.

Just seconds later ex-Dominator turned Patriot, Allison, who’d been used as a decoy much of the game, made a great catch over two defenders that knotted the score at 9.

“It was great to score against my old team,” said Allison while pulling away in her new Cadillac Escalade. “I love my new contract.”

On the first play of what could have been the Dominators’ final possession, Keith tried hitting Mark on a deep bomb, but Michael was playing a zone and jumped the route. On the ensuing interception return, Keith reached out and pulled Michael’s flag just short of the goal line. Since the quarterbacks-dads were only supposed to throw the ball and count to ten, officials reviewed the play in the press box and ruled the play a touchdown. The Patriots held a 10-9 lead.

The Dominators had one chance to tie the score and get into overtime. A failure to score would have meant a victory for the Patriots and vindication for Allison and the Patriots.

Facing a third-and-long, Keith fired a low pass to Mark who dropped to the ground to make the catch in a cloud of dirt. When the dust settled, it was clear that the he had picked up a first down.

Facing third and goal, Keith fired a bullet to the back of the end zone for Jeff, but he was ruled out of bounds.

Fourth Down. A touchdown would send the game into overtime. An incomplete pass or interception? Game over.

The Dominators faked the shovel pass to Mark which drew the defense’s attention away from Jeff. Keith dodged Urban as the tall, lanky defender dove out for his ankles, rolled right only to find Mark covered by Michael, rolled back to his left, stepping over a fallen Urban who wasn’t anywhere near getting up, and lofted a pass into triple coverage.

Jeff leaped up in the air with flashes of greatness entering his head. A catch in a moment like this would prove that he was a good player which the Patriots should have never traded.

The ball landed in his hands. His feet came down in bounds. It was tied 10-10. And how the Dominators rejoiced.

The victory celebration was short-lived as league officials had to discuss the tie breaker. After consulting the rule books (since there has never been a tie at the end of regulation), it was determined that the quarterbacks-dads would have to throw a football into the wind from a seated position. The farthest throw would win the game.

“Urban’s throw was a perfect spiral and went the length of the field,” said Mark afterwards while hoisting his third consecutive FFL Championship Trophy. “I had my doubts since Keith is still recovering from the motorcycle accident in Las Vegas, but as soon as it left his hand, I knew it would be the winning throw.”

All Michael and Brad could so was say, "Oh no." It was the closest game in league history and third straight loss for the Patriots.

“I’m really getting tired of losing,” Brad said. He then added, “Geeez.”

Brad only had two touchdowns in the game since he was blanketed by Mark for most of the contest. Mark ended up with four touchdown catches and an interception return for a score. Jeff had three touchdowns, Jennifer scored two and Allison had one.

There was no debate about Michael getting the MVP trophy. He scored on offense four times and had three interception returns for touchdowns. A feat that may never again be duplicated, it was the shining moment in a long and prolific career for Michael.

The quarterback-dads also played exceptionally well. Urban threw seven touchdowns and was picked off twice while Keith threw eight touchdowns but was picked off three times, all by Michael.

Urban retired immediately after the game. Something he’s done each of the last three years. We expect him to play again next year. He was still laying on the field when the rest of the players left to go eat lunch.

The only spectator at the game this year was Janet the Photographer. She didn’t have media credentials but since there was no one else at the game, officials allowed her to work her magic.

It was a fantastic chapter in the FFL series. We can only hope for another great match up next year when the teams meet up during the Christmas holiday.

WHITE ROCK 2008 - A LESSON IN THE AWESOME POWER OF MARATHON

It was supposed to be warm and windy.

But I wasn't prepared for what the 2008 White Rock Marathon had in store for me this year. The wind was blowing 30 mph out of the southwest, it was 70 degrees at race time and very humid (very humid for a guy who trains in Abilene).

I trained for 18 weeks at a 3:20:00 pace, and the only run I didn't make time was caused by a very stiff south wind.

I was supposed to run about a minute off my pace until the seven mile mark, then catch up to my pace at 12 and run the rest of the race at my pace or faster. That's how I'd trained...that's what I was expecting.

What I wasn't expecting was what the humidity/heat would do to my heart rate. At the first mile...the first mile...I was 50 seconds slow and my heart rate was way too high.

I had to shed my shirt in the third mile and poured at least two cups of cold water on my head at every water station for the duration of the race.

By the 11th mile I was two minutes off pace and about to turn south into that horrible wind. So I did something I would have never even imagined I would do one year ago - I turned my stopwatch off.

I switched my watch to just show my heart rate and monitored it the rest of the way. I tried to just run and enjoy the ride. A lesson I learned from my good friend Gregg Fuhrman - who was just about 90 seconds behind me at the time.

It was 3:20:00 or bust last year, and I sure did bust. But I ran a much smarter race this year and decided I didn't care how fast I finished...just that I finished.

And the beast they call Marathon taught me another lesson. One can never say "I will run a ____ time in the marathon today." You have to say "I've trained at a ___ pace, and will run whatever time Marathon wishes me to run today."

I was reminded what a physically daunting task Marathon is today and was proud that I finished.

Frank Shorter (the last American man to win the Olympic Marathon) covered the race for WFAA in Dallas. He said the conditions today could be compared to running at altitude...like going to Colorado and running when you haven't been training there.

I haven't run in 70 degree weather since August and have only run in that kind of wind a few times over the last three years.

I ran past the point which I "bonked" last year (little after 20 miles) and was in a lot of pain. My heart rate had hovered around my anaerobic threshold since the first mile and it was taking its toll on my muscles and lungs.

I took a few "test" steps at a walk and immediately broke back into a jog just to make sure I could still run - last year at around 21 miles I stopped to walk and was never able to run again that day.

After I had determined that I could, in fact, walk then run, I decided to slow it up and walk to try and get rid of the horribly painful side stitch that sunk its gnarly teeth into my lungs just under the right side of my ribcage.

A slender man in his thirties came up behind me, and we talked and walked for a few minutes. He told me that he was trying to run a 3:15:00 today but the wind around the lake had sapped all his energy. This is a guy that ran track in college and has run a sub-3 hour marathon before.

He made me feel a lot better, and after a few hundred yards he broke off into a run wishing me good luck in the process.

About thirty seconds later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to see Gregg had caught up to me and wasn't prepared to pass me. We could think of no better ending to the day than crossing the finish line together.

We walked together for a few minutes, picked up to a run and jogged the rest of the way in...barely breaking 4 hours.

Both of our personal bests are around the 3.5 hour mark. It was a rough day for both of us physically, but mentally it couldn't have ended better.

My legs began feeling fatigued early on...something that has never happened to me while training. Very frustrating but just speaks to the awesome power of Marathon.

On a tragic note, a few minutes after Gregg and I met back up around the 23 mile mark, we passed a horrifying scene. A young woman was receiving CPR on the curb. She had apparently stopped breathing and we could hear a man counting out loud while he administered chest compressions.

Tonight I found out that the woman, 29, was a participant in the race and died right there on the curb.

I thought I was going to throw up when I took the scene in, and it took everything in my power to keep running as bad, physically, as I felt.

My heart and prayers go out to the woman's family and all involved in that tragedy. That scene will haunt me forever.

Here are some things I remember from the race...

A young woman was running a few yards in front of me in a residential street and clipped the side view mirror of a car with her hip causing her to crash to the ground. I was going to stop and help, but two other runners ran to her aid...I tried reaching for a water bottle a young girl was holding out but at the last second she brought the cup back into her body not knowing I was grabbing for it. I missed and knocked the cup all over her neck and shoulder. I felt terrible...I passed a guy with a wig and an inhaler in his headband...A sweet old man held out an orange slice for me, but he dropped it before I could make contact. It dropped to the pavement and I ran on as he tried to pick it up and hand it to me...Two young men in speedos and running shoes were running in front of me for a few minutes at the beginning of the race, gross...At around the 20 mile mark I felt something warm running down my leg. I thought it was blood at first, but when I looked down I didn't see anything. I don't know what it was. That kind of freaked me out...I passed the 3:30:00 pace group at five miles. They caught me at 15. I tried to stay with them, but couldn't keep up...At the very beginning of the race, I noticed a man with gel packs in the back pockets of his shorts that were not secured and bouncing around. A few steps later, everyone one of the packs had fallen out. Poor guy...I didn't make small talk with anyone this year, something I've done the last two years. Saving my energy...My quads felt like someone was hitting them with a sledge hammer with every step at around the 21 mile mark. After I walked for a few minutes and started running with Gregg, they suprisingly felt much better...I had no other pain at all, not foot, not knee, no pain...I cried when I crossed the finish line. That kind of physical mountain of a task makes you lose control of your emotions...I showed my marathon tattoo at a couple of the picture stations along the way...I never did see the woman who helped me last year when I collapsed. I looked for her diligently...People normally yell your name out as encouragement and no one was calling my name. Towards the end of the race I noticed my race number had blown up and the back was showing. No one could read my name...There was one sign that said "If you can read this, you're in front of my husband." I thought that was funny...I saw a guy walking three beagles. It made me smile. A few minutes later, I saw two more beagles...I saw a little girl holding a cup of water on the curb. Her large dog nosed at the cup and it spilled all over her. Her dad laughed. So did I...When I switched my watch from displaying the time to just displaying my heart rate, I looked across the lake and smiled...The shore of the lake looked like the ocean. The waves were turning over and crashing onto shore...I smelled a cigarette when I ran through one of the aid stations. That made me mad...I was also mad when I saw some little kids holding out a box of Starburst. You get irritated easily at around the 22 mile mark...I turned the final six miles into two mile sections. I'd say to myself, "just two more measley miles"...From the 15 mile mark when the 3:30:00 pace group passed me until Gregg found me at 23, I anxiously looked back at every approaching footstep hoping to see him so we could run together...I saw a golf cart carrying a runner late in the race. I wanted to hope on and ride in. I was in a lot of pain...

What I learned today was that you can't control the elements on race day. You just have to go with what is given to you. If you finish at your goal? Great. If not? You'll live to race another day.

Last year I was devastated that I didn't finish at my goal (I didn't finish period). This year I finished forty minutes off pace and couldn't have scripted a better ending to the 18 weeks of training...finishing with my friend Gregg.

It was the perfect ending to a warm and windy day.

And I can't wait for my next racing adventure! Thanks for taking the time to read...

DOMINATORS LOOK TO EXTEND WINNING STREAK IN ANNUAL GAME

Abilene, Texas - On Saturday, December 20 the Dominators and Patriots of the FFL (Family Football League) will meet in Plano for the third time in the league's young history.

The Dominators hold a decisive 2-0 all-time series lead, and at the league's summer meetings in Abilene, Dominators' owner, general manager and MVP Mark Rogers was not shy about his feeling that the trend would not change.

"We have the same core players. We're faster, stronger and more athletic. Why would I think the Patriots would even have a chance against us? Because Brad wears a bandana? Please."

The 2007 game was reviewed this summer at the meetings and it was determined that after breaking both knee caps, Patriots QB and Turnover Machine Urban Rogers will be required to wear knee pads and a helmet in 2008 per a league insurance policy. Brad Rogers, the Patriot offensive lineman turned hero in 2007, was fined $10,000 for displaying a poor attitude at the completion of last year's game when he muttered "Geeez" under his breath and walked away from the field. To date, he has still not paid.

In 2006 the teams met in the inagural FFL game. They marked the playing field with shoes and articles of clothing and played down-by-two-touch rules. The appropriately named Dominators won in a route as Mark Rogers, Jenn Rogers, Jennifer Rogers and Allison Rogers executed their game plan to perfection in all three phases - defense, offense and special teams.

Last year, after the league was able to raise funds through its charitable non-profit organization "Heal Urban's Knees, Please", the two teams were able to use cones to mark the field and had flag belts to determine when a player was no longer eligible to advance the football.

In that game Mark Rogers had an unprecedented two interception returns for touchdowns, a kick off return for a touchdown, ran for another score and threw a touchdown pass in a 5-4 win. It was the greatest performance in league history, and league officials erected a monument next to the field in his honor. Last month a gang of hoodlums vandalized the monument, and it was taken down. Initial reports named Jeff Rogers as the prime suspect. No charges were filed, and Jeff has declined comment.

Others believe that Mark Rogers, himself, vandalized the monument. He was not in favor of the recognition and was quoted several times throughout the offseason heaping praise on his teammates rather than taking all the glory himself. What a team player.

Over the last year, the athletes have been keeping in shape and preparing for the game in their own mental and physical ways.

Urban Rogers is on a strict diet of Pepsi and Kolache Station dinner rolls in milk. He exercises by pushing himself back and forth with his heel while sitting in his rocking chair. Jeff Rogers continues to rock climb and pole dance at bed-and-breakfasts around the Long Island area. He and his wife, Allison, are in prime condition after living in New York City for the last 12 months. They are constantly running from criminals, muggers and celebrities. Jenn Rogers is pregnant and may be a liability for the Dominators this year...oh wait...she almost cost them the game last year, too...and rolled her eyes just now when she read this. Mark Rogers continues to keep himself in shape in unorthodox ways by hanging upside down from the side of his couch and seeing how much water he can drink before it comes out his nose or he loses control laughing. Rogers believes this helps with hand-eye coordination. Jennifer Rogers' work out regimen consists of chasing after little kids and lighting things on fire. She has also been working on her rotator cuff strength by throwing Chinese darts into the back of her husband's 67-inch LCD TV. Her aforementioned husband, Brad, is in prime physical condition. He has lost more than 75 pounds and completes Ab Ripper 90 X every other day with his sole motivation the upcoming FFL game.

"My favorite part of the day is when I'm finally done with Ab Ripper 90 X and the guy is like 'you've just completed Ab Ripper 90 X.' Then I know I'm almost prepared for the game," Brad said after just completing Ab Ripper 90 X.

In an interesting twist this offseason, Mark Rogers has invited members of Allison Rogers' family, the Seiberts, to join in the game this year. Rogers has cleared the additions with the league and if they accept, Michael Seibert would join the Dominators, Meredith and Keith Seibert would join Urban, Brad and Jeff on the Patriots.

Other Seiberts (namely Lara and Katherine) who will be available and wish to be included in the game need only contact Dominators GM, Mark Rogers to gain access.

The Seibert family relocated from Eastern Russia ten years ago and are considered by many to be the most talented family from Eastern Russia in history.

The King of the family, Keith, can play the guitar and is well-known for his four-year term spent as a CatchPhrase judge. Janet, yon Queen, is a marvelous cook and can read people's minds. The eldest daughter, Allison, vaulted into celebrity status with her circus catch during last year's FFL game. Michael, the only son, has 32-inch biceps, once killed a bear with chop sticks, beat Mike Tyson up in an alley fight and likes to lick the chocolate from the bottom of the brownie mixing bowl. His wife, Meredith, instigated the Mike Tyson fight when she threw a cupcake at him for, according to police reports, "looking at me wrong." She is also a world-class pole vaulter. Lara Seibert just won a Tony for her performance in the Broadway Musical "Wumsee-doodle, the Story of Mike Tyson getting Beat up In an Alley by a crazed Maniac." And last but not least, Katherine Seibert - the youngest of the bunch. She defeated Dwyane Wade in a one-on-one game on a neutral court and was mentioned by Kobe Bryant during his MVP acceptance speech. None of the Seiberts speak english.

"We're not sure if the Seiberts or which ones will be able to participate, but we'd sure love to get them involved. Michael Seibert is a force to be reckoned with and can bench press more than 600 pounds," Rogers said at a press conference earlier this week. "I mean, c'mon, the guy beat up Mike Tyson in an alley fight. They even made a musical about it."

Rogers also said the teams would be fair if these additions were made with Mark, Michael, Allison, Jenn and Jennifer (2 male, 3 female) pitted against Urban, Keith, Brad, Jeff and Meredith (4 male, 1 female).

If Lara and Katherine are able to attend, Lara would play for the Dominators and Katherine for the Patriots. Any other combination of players will be determined by league officials prior to the game.

The game will kick-off at 11 AM at Westwood Park in Plano on Saturday, December 20. Pre-game coverage will begin at 10 AM.

Please send any questions and/or comments to the FFL Commisioner, Chingus Domingus at PO Box 8729, Notting Hills, XZ 32092.

THOUGHTFUL QUOTE

I read this today in US News. A quote from Abigal Adams to her son John Quincy:

"These are the times in which a genius would wish to live. It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raise, and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities which would otherwise lay dormant, wake into life and form the character of the hero and the statesman."

I agree...good to know that in these troubling and difficult times for our country, the right people will emerge from the storm and lead us in the right direction.

Just a thought...